Seriously though, my whirlwind began unexpectedly on Thursday September 29th when my husband called and told me the horrible, heart wrenching message that the Pastor that introduced me to the Lord when I was a young 17 year old goofy girl had been found unresponsive by his wife at their home. A young 69 year old mountain of a man, Cowboy extraordinaire, God fearing and truth preaching man was now in the hands of our most awesome and loving God. As I drove to the emergency room not knowing what to expect, you start to do the remembering game, thinking of all the funny, quirky, forever etched in your brain moments that you have shared with this person and how you could not even begin to imagine how he could no longer be here. No longer preach on that incredible pulpit, no longer sit a horse like no one else, no longer drive his Mercedes thru the fields chasing cattle or horses, no longer smile that incredible smile, no longer tell the most amazing, funny stories........no longer be present in the life of thousands! As we stood waiting in the hallway outside of his E.R. room, hearing the sounds of doctors, machines, tears and prayers....life became very, very real. They made the decision to move him to a hospital where his doctors where stationed and ready, my husband and I accompanied **"our pastor"** and the transport team out to an awaiting ambulance and as we walked down those hallways hearing nothing but the sound of the bag which was being pressed as to give air and breath to this most precious man of God, my heart actually hurt......
The next day I drove to the hospital and entered the I.C.U unit, sat and talked with family and tried to keep the mood as light as you can during times like these. He was scheduled to have extensive tests ran to test brain activity and I had to get back home to attend my son's Friday night football game, and you hate to leave, you want to stay and comfort your friends and family, but I couldn't, I would come back the next day.
At 7:50 p.m. I got word that the test showed no brain activity and that the family was saying their goodbyes and machines were being removed.....Oh My God. I instantly felt the tears and the shortness of breath and the panic of not knowing what to do, what do I do, my husband is going to completely loose it.........but we have to get to the hospital! I met my husband in the parking lot and relayed the awful news.......and held him as he sobbed. My wonderful friend took care of my kids getting home and we drove to the hospital in utter disbelief that we were actually experiencing such a thing, with such a man as this....really? We arrived at the I.C.U unit and a waiting room filled with fellow family members and long time friends. We were brought back through big doors, down the hallway and finally to his room.......this was it.....this was going to be a moment in my life that I would rather not ever have to experience.
To be blessed to have the privilege to experience such an incredible, Godly, strong, funny, hero, soul winning, Bible preaching, bluegrass playing, horse loving, extraordinary man of all men taking his final breaths on this earth, and witnessing at the very moment God took him to receive what he had been striving and working for all of his life......their really and truly are no words to describe what that was like.......privilege is the one word that continually pops into my mind......just a once in a lifetime privilege. He is where he has longed to be, at the feet of Jesus.
As his most amazing wife and adult children grieve and mourn their incredible loss, their strength inspires me, their love for others during their heart break amazes me beyond belief.....his wife is quite possibly the strongest women I have ever met, her strength is undeniably from our most gracious and loving God, for without Him she would surely break.
Part 2 in a few days...... :)
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